Scythes Of Bodom: Janne, you can talk a little bit German, so let's do the whole interview in German, ok?
Janne: No, better not. (laughs)
Scythes Of Bodom: You learnt German at school, right? What are your favourite German words?
Janne: Well, "Pimmelfrau" or "umgebaute Pimmelfrau", you know, the usual words you should know.
Scythes Of Bodom: Ok, let's start the actual interview: What's your favourite sexual position?
Janne: Oh... last time I had sex was in 1998, so I don't really know. Probably missionary.
Scythes Of Bodom: You probably remember this question from some porn interview where you got very pissed about it because the interviewer didn't know anything about the band and only asked questions like that. You almost left the interview. Did you ever cancel interviews because of stupid interviewers?
Janne: I have cancelled so many interviews that you really don't wanna know.
Scythes Of Bodom: Ok... That means I should be careful with my questions.
Janne: Yeah, you should be, you should be...
Scythes Of Bodom: Does it often happen that interviewers don't know anything and start with questions like "What's your name and the name of your band?"?
Janne: Well, not that often anymore. It's different nowadays but there are still questions which are stupid as that.
Scythes Of Bodom: Let's talk about your role in 1997 you got a text message from Jaska to help out his band and this changed your life?
Janne: Well, at least it changed YOUR life, too! (laughs)
Scythes Of Bodom: Damn, you're right... Anyway, when did you feel that you're a part of this band and identified yourself with it?
Janne: To be honest, I felt to be a real member of the band by the time we started recording Hatebreeder, our second album. When we recorded that I was like "Ok, I'm in the band.".
Scythes Of Bodom: In the Deadnight Warrior video you wear sunglasses and a hood, so it almost seems like that you don't want that other people who know you recognize you in a video of some underground Death Metal band.
Janne: Did you ever think that it was the other way around? This underground Death Metal band doesn't want that people see me in their video. (laughs) So maybe it might have been like that.
Scythes Of Bodom: You often wear Star Wars wristbands and shirts and sometimes you even played the theme music live on stage, so I just have to ask: What's your favourite Star Wars episode and who's your favourite character?
Janne: That's a good question... The first good question of this interview. (laughs) Can I tell you how this whole thing started? Thank you. We did a tour in the US and this one guy contacted our management and told them that he is a big fan and would like to meet us. I was the one who responded - being the nicest guy in the band. (laughs) Anyway, this guy was from ILM - Industrial Light & Magic - and he contacted us like "Guys, COB has been such a big part in the making of episode I." and I was like "Wow, what the fuck?". He told me that they were listening to COB all day in their room at ILM where they animated the movie and this impressed us all. Anyway, to answer your question... Er, what was it again? Ah yeah! Well, I'm not gonna say any of the classic episodes, even though I love them. From the new episodes it's episode I or episode III. Somehow I didn't get episode II but I really love episode I and I really enjoyed episode III. My favourite character? ET.
Scythes Of Bodom: Ah yeah... It seems you don't only like to wear Star Wars stuff every now and then but even bras. At least you have a couple of them at your keyboard. What's up with that?
Janne: On headlining shows people use to throw stuff on the stage but the bra thing is more like a crew joke, actually I have nothing to do with that. If there's a female in the audience who gets wild enough to throw her bra on stage, then they just hang it on my keyboard stand but I have nothing to do with that.
Scythes Of Bodom: Any news on Warmen?
Janne: Yeah, I'm working on the fourth...?
Scythes Of Bodom: Yes.
Janne: Yes. We're currently working on the fourth album and all drums, basses, guitars and some of the vocals are already recorded. But I'm just so busy touring with COB right now that it's kind of difficult but all I gotta do when I go home is do record keyboards, solos, remaining vocals and mix the whole thing.
Scythes Of Bodom: Can you reveal the title?
Janne: No. Well ok, I have to tell you that the title was going to be Japanese Hospitality but then Chinese Democracy came out before it so it would have had ruined my idea. Japanese Hospitality was my idea for a Warmen album for years because Japanese hospitality exists unlike Chinese democracy. Also, this album never came out so this didn't exist until now. They fucked my idea so I have to come up with something new
Roope: (with a deep voice) KOREAN BRUTALITY!
Janne: (laughs) Yeah! You can trust me that it's gonna be something really fucked up.
Scythes Of Bodom: So, nothing Amadeus related again this time?
Scythes Of Bodom: How many songs will be on the album?
Janne: Ten or eleven.
Scythes Of Bodom: You recorded two cover songs for it.
Janne: We did four but they will be used for different markets. Don't announce them yet.
Scythes Of Bodom: When will the album be released?
Janne: It was supposed to be released early next year, maybe in March. But it seems that I will be too busy. I will have to go to NAMM in January, I have to do a bunch of other stuff and we will also have a headlining tour at the end of January so I'm gonna finish it by the end of March, so the release might be at the end of May or in June.
Scythes Of Bodom: Why did you never ask Jens Johansson to play a keyboard solo on the Warmen albums? A duel of you would be awesome.
Janne: I have! He'd do it. But then again, why would I have somebody superior to my skill reigning over my shit on my album?
Scythes Of Bodom: Maybe to show everybody that you can actually compete with him.
Janne: Yeah - well... yeah... Anyway, he'd do it in a heartbeat. I could actually call him up right now... (pulls out his mobile phone and dials a number) It's not a competitive thing, I consider him as a really good friend and... hold on, I will ask him... (To crew member Kal) What time is it in Malmö right now?
Janne: Is he back in New York?
Kal: Could be. Right now it's about 7 am there. He ain't gonna answer.
Janne: Anyway, to answer the question: I never thought that it would be a good idea. I mean, if you have a solo album of a keyboardist, why would you ask somebody who you think is superior to your skill to play on your album?
Kal: Oh, actually it must be 5 am there.
Scythes Of Bodom: Let's just continue. What's your opinion on the first two Warmen albums?
Janne: The first two? The first one is bullshit, the second one has something. We were getting to something and finding our style. But I have to say that I love Sami Virtanen's guitar playing on the first album. I can say this for all of the COB members, especially for Alexi and Roope: Before Sami left the music scene behind him he used to be one of the best guitar players in Finland, so that's the only reason why I would ever listen to the first album again, just to hear Sami's playing.
Scythes Of Bodom: What do you do offstage when Jaska plays his solo?
Janne: I drink.
Scythes Of Bodom: What's your favourite Children Of Bodom album and why?
Janne: My favourite Children Of Bodom album and why... It's the latest because it sounds the best, it probably has the best songs, it sounds the best, probably sounds really good, sounds really good and actually sounds very good.
Scythes Of Bodom: I see. What's the worst Children Of Bodom song?
Janne: The worst Children Of Bodom song... Hey, look at his face! (points to Henkka) Knuckleduster!
Henkka: See, it's the worst song in their opinion. That's what I meant. It won't probably happen again that we will play it.
Janne: Well, I just wanted to piss Henkka off. Well, I don't know what's the worst song, probably "Knuckleduster".
Scythes Of Bodom: Or probably something from the first album.
Jaska: In The Shadows!
Scythes Of Bodom: Is there something you would change on the songs and albums if you could?
Janne: Of course, yeah. But - believe it or not - I did learn something along the way, so if I could record some of the early stuff nowadays, it might be a little bit better, not much but a little bit better. But I have to admit that I recorded Hatebreeder in an unheated former warehouse where they changed oil for trucks. Anssi was supposed to build parts of his studio there later on. Anyway, that's where I recorded all the keyboards for Hatebreeder on ADAT tapes that rolled really slow. You couldn't edit much there, you couldn't really go back and forth on these tapes. Nowadays it's so much easier with the computerized systems. I have said this a couple of times but I'm still so proud of my playing on Hatebreeder because that represents the good old times. That was when you really needed to know how to play. Nowadays computers help you and you only need some short takes and it's damn easy. Back in the day I recorded Hatebreeder in a fucking unheated warehouse in the middle of the winter in Finland with simple tape machines that couldn't cope with shit.
Scythes Of Bodom: Is there a chance that you will use your keytar on stage again?
Janne: Yeah, it might happen when I'm gay enough when I'm drunk.
Scythes Of Bodom: In 2006 you told me that you were thinking about doing a jazz project. What's up with that?
Janne: I've been too fucking lazy. (laughs) I know some amazing musicians but then I realized that this might piss some people off. In the end Jazz music is for wankers, it's for people who think that they're superior to others, people who think they know how to play but they can't. Can you name me a Jazz musician who makes money nowadays? I gave up the idea when I realized that all Jazz music is bullshit and they're all idiots, so... this explains that.